Expectations. If you can’t live without them, how to live with them.

Expectations. If you cant live without them, how to live with them.

 

Nine times out of ten, when upset is experienced, it’s due to thwarted expectations. Think about it.

You study hard for an exam, expecting a result over 85%, and you miss the mark. You’re likely to get upset.

You go into a big meeting, all primped and prepped, expecting to land that gig or make the sale, and you come out flat. Upset.

You get all dolled up, looking forward to meeting your Prince Charming, or that guy that you made eyes with last time you saw him, and nothing happens. You guessed it – you’re likely to feel upset!

Now in all three of these situations, the feeling of being upset, disappointed, or down, is TOTALLY justified! However, these feelings could also have been avoided. How? By removing the specific expectations in the first place.

It’s human nature to have expectations. And so instead of expecting (pardon the pun!) it be easy to remove them altogether, here are three ways to help manage them.

 

1. Expect an overall experience, not a specific outcome

Instead of going into a situation attached to a certain result you want to have happen, consider how you want to feel, or how you want the overall experience to go, instead. Perhaps you want to feel as though you’ve done your best on that exam. Or you want to give it your best in that presentation. Or you are simply up for having a fun night out with friends. These are more likely to come true, as they speak to the overall experience.

 

2. Dont be an over passionate planner!

I’m sure you’ve experienced those days or nights where you didn’t necessarily have anything planned – you were just up for whatever. And it turned out to be super fun? And on the other hand, no doubt you’ve also experienced those nights where every little detail has been meticulously planned out… and you end up being too concerned ensuring everything is unfolding as it was intended to, instead of actually allowing the experience to unfold? The more details you plan, the more likely your expectations may not all be met. Trust there is a bigger plan in place!

 

3. Have a wee little bit of faith. (or maybe a lot.)

It may sound trite, however sometimes you just have to trust whatever is meant to happen will happen. It may not seem like it in the moment, however there is always learning to be had. You flunked your exam? Perhaps you have an even bigger calling. You don’t land that particular opportunity or sale? There is a better one waiting just around the corner. Your Prince Charming doesn’t show up? He wasn’t meant for you… yours is still grooming his white horse.

 

When it comes to managing expectations, expect an experience, don’t overplan, and have a little faith. What’s meant to happen will happen. Click to tweet it out!

 

Have a FAB week!

Carol - high res

 

 

 

What are your thoughts, ideas, tips when it comes to managing expectations? Leave your comment below!

Are you responsible, or do you have a responsibility?!?

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Are you responsible, or do you have a responsibility?!?

There is the idea of being responsible, and there is the idea of responsibility. Are they the same thing? Perhaps in certain contexts… however on the whole I think not. And, I think it’s important to make a distinction.

I had the pleasure of engaging in some very inspiring and thought-provoking conversations while hosting Jim Cathcart (personal development extraordinaire, spoken at over 2500 conferences all around the world, inducted into the Speakers Hall of Fame, author of 16 books…) this week. We were discussing the potential impact that speakers can have on so many lives. He pointed out on more than one occasion that while indeed it is an honour, with that comes a big responsibility. It’s true. And I think that is true for all of us.

Whether you are a professional speaker or not, you have a responsibility to share the best of who you are and what you know. You have a responsibility to share your story, share your gifts, and share your message… even on the days when you don’t feel like it, when you don’t feel ready, or when you don’t feel ‘good enough.’

 

I know you want to make a difference in the world. And so
  • You may not be responsible for other people’s thoughts, actions, or feelings, however you have a responsibility to do what you can to affect them in a positive manner.
  • You may not be responsible for other people’s decisions, however you have a responsibility to deal with every situation with confidence and to the best of your ability.
  • You may not be responsible for the rain or the weather, however you have a responsibility to make the day a good one.
  • You may not be responsible for another’s successes or failures, however you have a responsibility to help them see what is possible for their lives.
  • You may not be responsible for all successes or failures in your own life, however you have a responsibility to learn from every experience.
  • You may not be responsible for certain uninvited, unwelcome, unexpected events that take place in your life, however you have a responsibility to face them with as much courage as you can.

 

You may not be responsible for a lot of things in life, however you still have a responsibility to show up, to be you, and to do the best you can ~ wherever you are with whatever you have. (Click to tweet it out!)

Have a FAB week!

Carol - high res