Expectations. If you can’t live without them, how to live with them.

Expectations. If you cant live without them, how to live with them.

 

Nine times out of ten, when upset is experienced, it’s due to thwarted expectations. Think about it.

You study hard for an exam, expecting a result over 85%, and you miss the mark. You’re likely to get upset.

You go into a big meeting, all primped and prepped, expecting to land that gig or make the sale, and you come out flat. Upset.

You get all dolled up, looking forward to meeting your Prince Charming, or that guy that you made eyes with last time you saw him, and nothing happens. You guessed it – you’re likely to feel upset!

Now in all three of these situations, the feeling of being upset, disappointed, or down, is TOTALLY justified! However, these feelings could also have been avoided. How? By removing the specific expectations in the first place.

It’s human nature to have expectations. And so instead of expecting (pardon the pun!) it be easy to remove them altogether, here are three ways to help manage them.

 

1. Expect an overall experience, not a specific outcome

Instead of going into a situation attached to a certain result you want to have happen, consider how you want to feel, or how you want the overall experience to go, instead. Perhaps you want to feel as though you’ve done your best on that exam. Or you want to give it your best in that presentation. Or you are simply up for having a fun night out with friends. These are more likely to come true, as they speak to the overall experience.

 

2. Dont be an over passionate planner!

I’m sure you’ve experienced those days or nights where you didn’t necessarily have anything planned – you were just up for whatever. And it turned out to be super fun? And on the other hand, no doubt you’ve also experienced those nights where every little detail has been meticulously planned out… and you end up being too concerned ensuring everything is unfolding as it was intended to, instead of actually allowing the experience to unfold? The more details you plan, the more likely your expectations may not all be met. Trust there is a bigger plan in place!

 

3. Have a wee little bit of faith. (or maybe a lot.)

It may sound trite, however sometimes you just have to trust whatever is meant to happen will happen. It may not seem like it in the moment, however there is always learning to be had. You flunked your exam? Perhaps you have an even bigger calling. You don’t land that particular opportunity or sale? There is a better one waiting just around the corner. Your Prince Charming doesn’t show up? He wasn’t meant for you… yours is still grooming his white horse.

 

When it comes to managing expectations, expect an experience, don’t overplan, and have a little faith. What’s meant to happen will happen. Click to tweet it out!

 

Have a FAB week!

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What are your thoughts, ideas, tips when it comes to managing expectations? Leave your comment below!

Today’s version is the perfect version…

My week in pictures (L-R): Good times camping in Killarney, Leigh Fowler’s Confident Content Creator Club meet and greet, more #Panamania fun! Fireworks every night!!!

 

Today’s version is the perfect version…

 

You know those moments when you feel a little doubt, a little fear, a little uncertainty? And then someone says something that instantaneously makes it all okay? I experienced one of those moments yesterday.

I had the honour of speaking with a very seasoned professional speaker whom I greatly admire. And when he asked me what was going on in my life, I mentioned the fact I am speaking at the IAAP (International Association of Professional Speakers) annual conference this coming week. I admitted I was a tad nervous, to which he said: ‘You will succeed because you will be you, wherever you are right now, with whatever version you have of your presentation today.’ He went on to explain we’re all in a state of beta ~ we’re all in whatever version ~ be it 1.0 or 1.1 or 7.11. And whatever version we’re at, is where we need to be.

Beta traditionally means the testing version in computer software (I had to look this up!) It refers to the latest version released to a select few before launching. We’re always testing, tweaking, changing… and we’re all simultaneously launching. It’s called life.

So yes, every day we arrive at a new version – a new version of ourselves, a new version of whatever we may be working on – and yet we’re perfect and it’s all perfect wherever it is.

 

You will touch the people you need to touch with who you are and where you’re at today.

You will impact the people you need to impact with who you are and where you’re at today.

And you will contribute in the way you are supposed to contribute simply by showing up with who you are and where you’re at today.

 

You are at exactly the right version that you need to be at right now.

Forget about what you or whatever you were working on last week looked like. Don’t worry about how you’re going to be, or what it could look like next week.

We are dynamic creatures, forever evolving. You’ll know more tomorrow. You’ll know even more by next week. And

 

So be it version 1.0 or 7.11, embrace the version you’re at. It’s where you’re supposed to be!

Have a FAB week!

 

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Trust your gut.

Trust your gut. ‘nuff said.

Do you do enough of it?

This week I had a big decision to make. I actually thought I had made it, however I was a little uneasy after I had. And so I made a different decision.

Now as I wrote about in a recent post, it’s important to be able to make decisions. It’s what moves you forward. The most successful people are those who have the habit of being able to reach decisions promptly. Napolean Hill goes into great depth on this very subject in his infamous book ‘Think and Grow Rich.’

That being said, it’s also important to make the right ones. And important decisions cannot be rushed.

A great discussion ensued during our Mastermind call last night on this very subject. Trust your instincts; trust your GUT. Get quiet, go inward, and listen to your intuition.

We all have decisions to make on a regular basis – some larger than others. And you may have a certain procedure you follow. Perhaps you complete a pros/cons list, fill in a decision-making matrix, or maybe you survey your friends, family members, trusted colleagues, or mentors. While it’s okay to do any or all of these things (although careful youre not asking TOO many people as that can easily confuse you even more!), at the end of the day, only YOU know what’s right for you.

Making decisions are not always easy. It takes courage. It takes confidence. And it takes a little bit of faith. And you’ve got them all.

Making an important decision? Get quiet, go inward, and listen to your intuition. Put simply, trust your gut. You got this! (Click to tweet it out.)

Have a FAB week!

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Trust your gut. You got this.

Carol Schulte's Happy Friday week in pictures

Trust your gut. You’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again. Although it may have become an overused maxim, do you still take it to heart? Or has it  perhaps lost some of it’s meaning?

I’m curious. Do you always take the time to really listen to your gut?

Perhaps you know you should… although that doesn’t necessarily make it easy.

I don’t know about you, however I find it hard to sometimes really listen to what I know deep down I should be doing. Why?

First of all, there’s so much noise going on around us… constantly! And sometimes I’m so busy rushing around I don’t even take the time to get quiet, to ask the question, and then to listen to the answer.

And on top of that, for me specifically,

I care about what other people think

I like to please other people

I tend to ask other people’s opinions

Perhaps you can relate?

It’s good to care about what other people think… to a certain extent.

It’s nice to want to please other people… to a certain extent.

And it’s important to ask other people’s opinions… to a certain extent.

When I have my coaching hat on, I come from a place of ‘all the answers already lie within…’ And so my role is to then ask my clients the right questions in order to help those answers come to the surface.

I really do believe the answers lie within. And yet sometimes it’s harder to believe that ourselves.

You know when something doesn’t feel quite right, and you get that icky feeling inside? Listen to it.

You know when something feels very right, even though you get that nervous-excited feeling inside? Listen to that feeling, too.

Trust your instincts. Trust your feelings. Trust your gut. Click to tweet it out!

You know what to do. You got this. Quiet down that noise, stop the comparing, and limit the opinions of others and the need to please.

This is YOUR life. And only YOU control how you’re going to live it. So what are you waiting for?!?

Happy Friday!

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P.S. Have you registered yet for ‘IGNITE’ ~ my next FULL-DAY event on Nov. 8th?!? Tickets are selling fast… I hope to see you there!