there will always be another party…

there will always be another pary

Happy Friday!

Okay so here’s the thing. I like saying yes. I like operating from a place of yes, and I enjoy being a yes! However, I also need to realize, as I am sure many of us do, that we don’t always have to say yes all of the time.

Sometimes I say yes because I genuinely want to, sometimes I say yes because the want to please others far outweighs anything else, and sometimes I say yes because I am actually afraid of what I may miss out on by saying no.

I remember when I was living in hip downtown Toronto in my hip downtown condo, Friday meant getting geared up to go out to the newest happening place in town. The coolest new restaurant, the jazzy ‘in’ lounge, the big pumping club or that exclusive rooftop party. And while there were many evenings when I loved being in the throw of it all (and let’s be honest felt pretty darn cool, too!) some nights I found if I didn’t have something exciting on the agenda, I was missing out. Not only did I feel uncool, but I had a sense of what one of my bestest friends so eloquently coined as FOMO (fear of missing out). And even though I was often quite content staying in on my own – catching up on my fave TV episodes or enjoying dinner and a glass of wine in my own company – I was also afraid of the exciting life no doubt happening all around me which I was missing out on.

And that’s how I often feel when I say no to something. If I say no to that person’s invitation, I may miss an amazing new connection, conversation, bout of inspiration. If I say no to that event, I may miss an incredible new opportunity. And if I say no to that free webinar or teleclass, goodness only knows what potential transformational nugget of wisdom I could be passing up!

But see, here’s the reality. I am simply never going to be able to say yes to everything and everyone. I mean okay, technically “there are 24 usable hours in every day” (fave quote from Empire Records!), but even that is not enough time to do it all. Plus, we all have to cram some sleep time in there somewhere, right?!? But try as I might — at one point this week I was walked in on as I was listening to a live webinar going on, sitting in on a different teleclass, trying to check e-mails, and shoveling in some food at the same time! The look of ‘You are CRAZY!’ was enough for me to realize that although I may have felt I was saying yes to it all, really I wasn’t concentrating enough on any of these activities to reap the full benefits! — it’s never going to work.

One of my esteemed acting teachers once imparted some words of wisdom I will never forget. We had a big show at the time, and needed to be taking care of ourselves, but in the middle of the run there was also a fun celebration of some sort we wanted to attend. ‘There will always be another party,’ she said. And how right she was.

There will always be another party, another dinner invitation, another coffee date, another networking opportunity, another teleclass to attend, another free webinar being offered, another great article to read, another class to take, another you name it.

Saying yes is fun and may make us feel good, but saying no every once in a while – or as often as we need to – is equally as important. And it doesn’t have to have this negative connotation often affiliated with saying ‘no’, either. Recognizing the need to say no when we need to say no can also be looked at as a ‘yes’ in a way, a yes to listening to what it is we really need.

(Lots of ‘no’s and ‘yes’s in there ~ did that even make sense?!?)

So I challenge us all this week to say yes when we genuinely want to say yes, but to be okay with saying no, too. We need a bit of both in our lives. As my mother used to say, everything in moderation.

Have a FAB week, everyone!

p.s. Thank you to all of you who have generously donated either your pennies or your words of inspiration to help me in my quest to run the Edinburgh marathon and raise funds for Breast Cancer Care… it’s happening in 10 days! AHH!! I SO appreciate your support.
p.p.s. Please share your thoughts with me in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you! What are you going to say ‘no’ to this week?!?

Carol

 

Posted in

Carol Schulte

Carol is a published author, has been featured in numerous magazines and podcasts, and is a returning guest expert on Rogers TV. Having lived and worked in 16 countries including Ashrams in India and vans in New Zealand, rocked dreadlocks in Thailand and shaved her head for breast cancer, she certainly walks her talk and brings a global perspective to all she does. When she’s not traveling or speaking on stage, you can find her volunteering as a bereavement facilitator, training for her next triathlon, or practicing her serious carpool karaoke game.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. pat cunliffe says

    Hi Carol, good luck sunday ,…. im so sorry that i couldn’t attend your last class (power jam tarvin ) i was in a lot of pain .. I have so enjoyed going along with my daughter Kaye ,and finding that YES ,i can do power yoga , much to my concern of never having done any kind of yoga before . Thank you for believing in me and for your happy and very encouraging way of teaching, we are gonna miss you !!! You have changed the way i think ,..for the better and i found my Happy Friday .. Thank you and good luck for your future Pat xxxxxx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *