Confession time.
You ready?
I’ve let someone down recently.
In fact, more than once.
I’ve committed to doing something, and then didn’t follow through. I promised I would complete something by a certain time… and fell short.
And you know who that person was?
Me.
Yup.
The truth is, I’ve fallen out of integrity with myself. And as a result, I’ve lost some trust in myself.
Can you imagine if you were in a relationship with someone who regularly let you down? Who didn’t follow through on what they promised they would do? Who was unreliable?
Chances are you’d become frustrated, maybe resentful, and may not actually like them very much!
Well, if the most important relationship we have is the one we have with ourselves, then shouldn’t we do all we can not to let ourselves down?
What if it wasn’t about doing things to impress other people?
What if it was about doing things that impress ourselves?
Because it’s the behaviours and actions we exhibit when no one is watching that truly matter.
Now it’s a lot easier to do what we say we’re going to do when we have someone to be accountable to.
If you put “go to the gym” at 6 a.m. on your calendar, you may find yourself negotiating when that alarm goes off at 5 a.m. and you just don’t feel like it.
However, if you’ve committed to meeting a friend at the gym at 6am, chances are you’re going to show up!
So why is that?!?
Gretchen Rubin calls one of her Four Tendencies “Obligers” — people who readily meet outer expectations but struggle more with the expectations they set for themselves. And interestingly, it’s the largest of the four groups.
Perhaps you can relate.
Because it takes discipline to stick to our own commitments.
It requires a commitment to do the thing.
It requires a willingness to do the hard things your future self will be proud of.
Think back on a time when you did something hard simply because you told yourself you would do it.
How amazing did it feel?
How proud did you feel?
And more importantly, how much more likely were you then to take the next step?
And then the next one…
Because that’s what happens.
You do the thing, maybe (or quite likely!) the thing you don’t feel like doing, and then you get this burst of energy.
You feel more confident.
You prove to yourself you can.
And you begin to build a body of evidence that you follow through.
You begin to build back trust with yourself. You begin to believe in yourself again.
And from that place, well… anything is possible!
👊 This Week’s Brave Action Challenge
Think about ONE THING you keep telling yourself you’re going to do… but don’t.
Perhaps it’s something you’ve put off for far too long.
Maybe it’s something that’s been on your calendar for an embarrassingly long time that you keep skipping over and no longer even treat as real.
Choose ONE.
And imagine how good it will feel when you actually do it.
Get up when your alarm goes off.
Get out for that walk or to the class at the gym.
Have that hard conversation.
Clean up your inbox.
Whatever your one thing is, make it real.
Put it in your calendar. Write it on a sticky note and post it where you can see it. Set an alarm on your phone. Or tell someone else what you’re going to do so they can hold you accountable.
And then DO IT.
And just watch how good you’ll feel.
And don’t worry. I’ll be there doing it right alongside you!
And yes, I’ll be cheering you on big time.
Now go and get your brave on!
Carol 🩷