Have you ever felt like an imposter?
I certainly have, and on more than one occasion.
In fact, I totally felt like one just this week.
You see, I was honoured to be interviewed by a special friend, talented singer-songwriter and creator of the dHarmic Evolution podcast, James O’Connor (you can check him out here! And stay tuned as our episode goes live Sept. 13!)
The interview itself was pretty powerful (he never sends questions in advance, and has a way of pulling things out of you in the moment that make for a pretty real, vulnerable conversation) but the post-interview was arguably even more powerful.
At one point he was waxing poetic about me and the important work I was doing in the world.
Now I was first on his show shortly after we met at an event over 3 years ago, and he was commenting on how much I’ve grown and evolved since then. And the more he was showering me with kind words and kudos about how impressed he is with how far I’ve come, the more I shrunk further down into my seat and the more awkwardly uncomfortable I felt.
Because the truth is, in that moment,
I didn’t feel I deserved the praise.
I felt very far from having it all figured out.
And I felt like a total imposter.
His words made it sound as if I had somehow ‘made it’ ~ and in my mind, that couldn’t be farther from the truth!
So I got honest with him, and shared what I was feeling.
At which point, being forever the empathetic person and good listener he is, reminded me that while I may sometimes look at people around me and think I am not ‘there’ yet, there are also people looking at me and thinking the same thing.
He then reminded me we are all on our own path, our own journey, and to spend energy looking at what others have achieved instead of focusing on what we are here to do is futile.
And of course he’s right.
It got me thinking, what does it even mean to ‘make it?’
Because if I sometimes feel I have not made it (at least yet!), which at times I’ll admit causes frustration and worry, I had better at least know what I’m talking about!
So, what does it even mean?!?
Similar to what it means to be successful, it depends on how one defines it for him or herself, instead of prescribing to the popularly held definition of society.
‘Making it’ is subjective, and really should mean something very different to each one of us.
I think it’s time to create my own definition.
And so here’s what I think.
To me, making it is when you wake up happy (at least most days, we’re human after all!) knowing you are living a life in alignment with who you are, your values, and when you engage in meaningful work, make meaningful connections, enjoy meaningful moments. When you try each day to make someone else’s world just a little bit better, and when you try to be just a little bit better version of yourself today than you were yesterday.
Here’s what else I think.
There is only one way you will ever ‘make it’:
When you choose to adopt the belief you have made it already.
You get to decide. You get to choose.
And when you choose to believe you’ve made it, it becomes real.
All too often we measure success, happiness, being ‘good enough’ according to and/or against others’ standards.
And how is it even any of their business?!?
It is YOUR life. And you, only you, are the expert of your own life.
So you get to choose what ‘making it’ looks like for you, and therefore ultimately when you get there… if you even care at all!
I think where I’ve been going wrong is thinking in order to ‘make it’ I have to have arrived somewhere I’m not.
Yet I don’t actually believe we have anywhere to arrive at or get to, at all.
Because so long as we’re living and learning and stretching and growing, there isn’t one place we’re going to! And if we’re already ‘there’ today, where are we going tomorrow?!?
Maybe it’s time to stop thinking we’re not there, and start realizing we’ve been there all along.
So I am going to be brave enough to choose I have already made it this week.
And I dare YOU to do the same!
Because the truth is, the moment you choose to believe you’ve made it, is the moment you will have made it.
It’s as simple as that.
And now I want to hear from you. What does ‘making it’ mean to you? And if you were to shift your perspective and perhaps your definition, what would that do for you?
Get your brāv on and please share your thoughts and comments below.
Have a FAB week!
P.S. I was honoured to be a featured guest this week for an on-line series entitled ‘Unleash Your Purpose-Driven Life,’ created by friend and fellow yogi Lauren Golen. It was another really exciting conversation, and you can listen to the interview, as well as learn from all other experts, for FREE, HERE!