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Okay, I’ll admit it, I tend to be a bit of a people pleaser. And although I have come a long way, I still do certain things in an effort to make others happy. To make others like me. To save face. Not that there is anything necessarily wrong with that, mind you. I mean, it’s nice to be nice to people. We all like nice people. And I do try to be a nice person. So, on a related note, I like to please.

That being said, it is important to look at the motivation behind our ‘wanting to please others’ actions.

Why are we wanting to please? To make others, or ourselves, happy? Are we doing things we don’t even really want to be doing sometimes merely to please? And are we ever going to be truly happy if we are always doing things thinking and hoping they will please?

Moreover, certainly we will never be able to please everybody. And if we are constantly striving for that, surely we are setting ourselves up for failure. And at what cost?

I think there is a big difference that needs to be distinguished between wanting to please versus wanting to serve.

• Pleasing others elicits actions motivated by a desired outcome. Serving others elicits actions motivated by a desired behavior.
• Pleasing others may elicit actions we don’t really want to do. Serving others more often elicits actions from a genuine want to do so.
• Pleasing others may not stem from us being our most authentic selves. Serving others requires us to be our most authentic selves.
• Pleasing others may not necessarily leave us, or others, feeling empowered. Serving others is all about empowerment.
• Pleasing others may lead to exhaustion, burn-out, failure. Serving others is invigorating, energizing, inspiring.

If we are constantly operating from a place of wanting to please, how true are we being to who we are and what we are really trying to achieve? And our success is often dependent on others’ approval; others’ happiness and appreciation validating our actions.

On the other hand, when we are operating from a place of wanting to serve, we are dedicated to making a real difference. We are being true to ourselves, and sharing our authentic vision and voice because we have a genuine desire to do so.

When we are truly dedicated to serving others, we are operating from our highest goodness and left in our power, while leaving others in their highest goodness and in their power. Perhaps a more powerful place to operate from, no? Perhaps some food for thought.

(Or perhaps I’ve gone too deep here and the fresh seaside air is having an effect on me…)

Have a FAB week, everyone!

P.S. As I announced in my happy Friday newsletter last week, emspire has been launched! (well, the soft launch at least ~ only for the eyes of my nearest and dearest!) Emspire is the business initiative I am creating in an effort to come from a place of service… I would really welcome your honest feedback. Check it out at http://www.emspire.ca!)

(and not aimed solely for the sweethearts out there! read on…)

So in the spirit of Valentine’s week, I thought it pertinent to talk a little bit about love. No, we shouldn’t need an excuse to do so, and yes, perhaps it is largely a Hallmark holiday or a strategic attempt to boost the flower and chocolate economy, but you really never can overdo it when it comes to love. I mean, have you ever heard anyone say at the end of their days they simply had too much love? I didn’t think so.

Today is the perfect day to either have a little extra love for yourself, or perhaps give a little extra love to someone else.

One can never indulge in too much love, and just that little bit can really go a long way. We’ve all heard the saying, have a penny, leave a penny; need a penny, take a penny. Perhaps we could look at love a little the same way. Some days we have a little extra to give away, some days we need a little extra to take for ourselves. And I’m not talking about grand gestures here. There are lots of simple and meaningful ways to show ourselves, and others, a little extra lovin’.

ways you can have a little love for yourself:

• go for a walk. Get some fresh air. Enjoy the scenery. It’ll do you good.
• have a bubble bath. (Even the gentlemen can do this!)
• take yourself out on a date. I did this last week… sat at the bar at a funky restaurant, had a nice glass of wine, even indulged in a delicious after eight crème brulee. It’s nice to enjoy your own company.
• disconnect for a moment. Give yourself permission to not check e-mails, facebook, what’s app, linkedIn, google+ – whatever it is, if only for a little while.
• buy yourself something nice. That book you’ve been wanting to read, that scarf you’ve been eyeing, Go on, you deserve it.
• sneak a chocolate. Or you favorite candy, cookie, or bevvy. Whatever your guilty little pleasure is, indulgence in it.  

 ways you can give a little love to someone else:

•  write someone a note. Be it an email, or even better, put pen to paper and send some good ol’ fashioned snail mail. Tell them hello, tell them you thought about them, tell them you appreciate them. It will make their day.
•  smile at a stranger. We’ve all heard the saying ~ smile at the world and the world smiles back at you.
• engage in a random act of kindness. Toss a coin in an expired parking meter. Buy the coffee for the person behind you in the drive-thru.
• support a cause. We all know someone who is somehow raising money, participating in a charitable event, bravely championing a cause. Or we may have a cause that means something to us. Giving even a few dollars, or perhaps volunteering a few hours of our time, will make a difference.
• call up an old friend. We’re all busy. It’s easy to get too caught up to catch-up. Make it happen. No doubt it’ll leave you both invigorated.
• tell someone you love them.

Love really is what makes the world go around. So have a little love, give a little love, and you’ll get back a whole LOTTA love!

Have a FAB week, everyone!