Are you waiting until you’ve done enough to let yourself enjoy your life?
Last night, I found myself on my mat, surrounded by 50+ women moving, sweating, shaking it out… and singing along to Like a Prayer.
And in that moment, I looked around the room, big smile on my face, and I realized THIS is what joy feels like!
I wasn’t thinking about my to-do list, or whether I had accomplished everything I’d wanted to that day, or because everything in my life was suddenly perfect.
I just felt joy.
And it stopped me for a second because just the day before, my coach had asked me a question:
Are you truly allowing yourself to experience joy?
EEK! Because if I’m honest, I’m not sure I always do.
I have a tendency to get to the end of the day and assess: Was I productive enough? Did I get enough done? Did I accomplish what I said I was going to accomplish?
And somewhere along the way, I’ve created this unspoken rule that once I’ve done enough, then I can relax. Then I can have fun. Then I can feel joy.
I don’t know about you, but it’s not exactly a fun way to go about your days!
And it got me thinking…
How often do we postpone our joy?
Until the work is done. Until we reach the goal. Until we make more money. Until we lose the weight. Until we finally feel like we’ve done enough… or perhaps are enough.
And THEN we’ll let ourselves be happy.
So, what if we stopped waiting?
Bronnie Ware spent years working in palliative care and later wrote The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, sharing some of the most common regrets she heard from people nearing the end of their lives.
Guess what one of those was: “I wish I had let myself be happier.”
Notice the language used.
Not I wish my life had been happier.
I wish I had LET myself be happier.
There’s a difference.
Now, I’m not suggesting we can — or should — choose to feel happy every moment of every day. Life is life. There are hard seasons. Sad days. Stressful moments. Disappointment, grief, uncertainty… all of it.
But perhaps joy doesn’t require all of those things to disappear first.
Maybe we can be going through something difficult and still laugh with a friend. Have a lot on our minds and still blast our favourite song in the car. Be worried about tomorrow and still notice the beautiful sky tonight.
Maybe joy doesn’t require everything to be okay.
Maybe we simply need to allow ourselves to experience it when it shows up, and perhaps create a little more space for it to show up in the first place.
Because last night, standing there on my mat, surrounded by women singing Madonna at the top of their lungs, I wasn’t thinking about what I hadn’t accomplished or what still needed to get done.
I was simply there.
Sweating. Singing. Smiling.
And feeling joy.
And I want more moments like that. Don’t you?
👊 This Week’s Brave Action Challenge
Think of ONE thing you know brings you joy.
Maybe it’s calling the friend who always makes you laugh. Driving down the highway belting out your favourite Broadway show tunes. Enjoying a quiet cup of coffee before the hustle and bustle of the day begins. Moving your body. Getting outside. Dancing in your kitchen.
Whatever it is, choose one thing and schedule it in this week.
Not if you finish everything else. Not once you’ve been productive enough. Not when you feel you’ve earned it.
Just because it brings you joy.
And then when you’re in it… let yourself actually experience it.
Put down your phone. Stop thinking about the next thing. Be there for it.
Because you don’t need to earn your joy. You don’t need to postpone it. And you certainly don’t need to wait until everything in your life is perfect to allow yourself to feel it.
You deserve joy. I deserve joy.
We all deserve a little more joy.
So go find some this week.
Or better yet… make some.
Cheering you on,
Carol 🩷