I like winning.
I mean, who doesn’t, right?!?
But maybe it’s not always all about winning. Maybe it’s about doing the thing. Period.
That was certainly the case and the lesson I needed to learn this week.
And that thing I am referring to, was the fact I competed in an event called Speaker Slam.
Now I love speaking. Speaking is my profession, and I take it very seriously. But I have never spoken to compete (well, unless you count reciting poetry for our annual middle school competition!)
So, when I was first asked to participate at Speaker Slam – an event sharing inspirational stories around a monthly theme – as a competition – I was somewhat reluctant.
I think the organisers are fab, as is the community they have built. It’s extremely supportive. However, I had been a judge for this event a few times, including at Grand Slam (the annual event that brings in all monthly winners to compete on a massive stage with at least 500 in the audience…) and wasn’t sure how it would feel to be on the other side. And besides, I am already lucky enough to speak for a living… what did I have to prove?!?
But here’s the thing… I’ve kinda been trying to prove myself in some ways most of my life.
And the truth is, the real reason I was hesitating was because I was scared.
I was scared to compete, and to be honest I was scare to lose.
And that moment I got honest with myself as to the real reason I was saying no, was the moment I knew I had to say yes.
If I wanna practice what I preach, I have to get my own brāv on and do the thing that scares me!
And so that’s what I did.
I said yes to speaking and competing.
And I am so grateful I did. Because Tuesday night something magical happened.
I didn’t win!
Now I know what you’re thinking… ‘WHAT?!? You’re celebrating the fact you DIDN’T win?!?’
Allow me to expand.
In all honesty, I told myself before the event it really wasn’t about winning. Because the goal was to say yes in the first place, and then honour the theme of courage, and be brave enough to be more real and vulnerable than I ever have been in a talk.
And I did, and I was.
So no, I wasn’t actually as disappointed as I thought I would be! (until the next day, when between you and me, I found out I went overtime which is what prevented me from getting a place on the podium! So now I’m only mildly upset with myself for talking too much… I knew I was cutting it close in rehearsal!)
In any event, it unfolded exactly as it was supposed to.
‘If I Were Braver’ ...
This is a phrase I often ask audiences and the people I work with to complete.
Yet I wasn’t doing it myself.
And so, a few months ago I created my very own ‘If I Were Braver’ list… and have slowly been making my way down the list ever since. I shared some of these items from the stage. (If you’re curious, you may just have to wait for my video to come out ~ let’s hope I’m brave enough to share it with you at that point!)
The feedback I’ve received made the vulnerability hangover, as Brené Brown would call it, totally worthwhile.
So many folks came up to me after my talk, or have messaged me since, saying how much it moved them. There were lots of tears, lots of people saying the story resonated with them, and even more exciting lots of brave stories being shared in return.
Being brave has nothing to do with getting it right or wrong, succeeding or failing, winning or losing.
We need to stop trying to get things right, stop trying to be perfect, stop living in a binary world.
Being brave is about doing the thing in the first place. Regardless of the outcome. It’s about the experience.
So in my mind, it was a big win on Tuesday. And yes, I am celebrating that!
And now, I have an important question for you, and an even more important challenge.
If you were braver, what would you do that you aren’t already doing?
Identify the first, small brave step you want to take. And then DO IT! (And then PLEASE tell me about it so I can cheer you on!)
I want to hear from you in the comments below.
AND, some exciting news to share! We are getting ready to launch the next cohort of our Brāv Leader program at the end of September!
If you’re interested in learning more about this powerful 6-month transformational leadership program, let’s hop on the phone!
It’s time to get your brāv on!
And that is all.
Back to Summer Friday fun!
Have a FAB week!