Platinum Is The New Black.

Happy Friday! (and happy Black Fri-YAY to boot for those choosing to partake!) 

I don’t have any special discounts, super deals, or BOGO offers for you today. (#sorrynotsorry!) And let’s be honest, you’re likely already bursting at the seams with deals galore of stuff you just don’t need. 

What I DO have for you today, however, is worth far more than any crazy Black Friday savings imaginable.

It’s called The Platinum Rule. 

And I was reminded of just how powerful this rule is while reading and editing my friend and fellow speaker, Jessica Pettit’s book: Good Enough Now. (It’s about to go into its second edition printing, and it’s an amazing read! So stay tuned… I’ll be sure to keep you posted as to when it’s available for the public!) 

Now perhaps you’re familiar with the Golden Rule, which states:

“Do unto others as you would like done unto you.” 

While this rule sounds good in theory, it doesn’t actually make a lot of sense.


Because what you like, how you work, and the things that make you tick, are going to be different than for me. 

So if I want to show you I care, give you the time and attention you deserve, and treat you with respect, then it doesn’t make sense to do unto you as I would like you to do unto me, now does it?!? 

Enter in, The Platinum Rule, which states:

“Do unto others as THEY would like done unto them.”

Now that makes way more sense if you think about it! It’s not about how WE want to be treated, it’s about how THEY want to be treated…

Now luckily, we are all different – as this is one of the things that keeps life exciting!

And yet if our default is to treat others the way we’d like to be treated, sometimes we may fall short.

While the intention no doubt comes from the right place, sometimes it may not land as we’d expect. And that’s because we are not considering The Platinum Rule.

(If you’d like to learn more about it, check out Dave Kerpen’s book, The Art of People.)

It’s one of the reasons I love and follow the Five Love Languages (another great read by Gary Chapman… you can also learn more or take the quiz HERE.) It was a game changer when I first came across it while studying Interpersonal Communication at University many moons ago – and still refer to it on a regular basis today.

The idea here is that each of us has one or two prominent love languages – and we most often GIVE love the way we’d like to RECEIVE love. Again, makes sense. However chances are our partner (or friend, or family member, or colleague…) has a different dominant love language than we do. And so you can only imagine how in relationships, all too often there is love expressed which does not equate to love felt – simply because people are not speaking the same language!

It really does come back The Platinum Rule.

We really need to consider the other person before ourselves. Especially if we want to reach them, meaningfully connect with them, and have our intentions land as they were, well, intended.

So as we begin to approach the excitement (and craziness!) of the holiday season, let’s be mindful of the power of The Platinum Rule: “Do unto others as THEY would like done unto them.”

Here are three ways you can put this rule into practice in the coming weeks:

  1. Create a list of the special people in your life you are planning on giving some type of gift to – be it homemade, store bought, or an experience. Then take a moment to think about what makes them tick. Think about what they would truly appreciate. Often we assume we need to spoil those we love with fancy gifts… NOT the case! I have some friends in my life who would much prefer a deep conversation over a nice meal or a glass of wine than a cashmere scarf. 
  1. Commit to learning something new about someone in your life – whether a coworker or an acquaintance – every day for 5 days. I bet there are people you see almost daily, and yet don’t know their favourite colour, their guilty pleasure, or their go-to chocolate bar! Get curious, and your relationships will reach whole new levels. 
  1. Choose to take on the idea ‘There are no such things as strangers, only friends you haven’t met.’ And in this way, be the first to acknowledge, to say hello to, and to see the people you come into contact with on a regular basis. Perhaps it’s the barista who makes you your coffee, the person you share an elevator with, your uber driver. People are FASCINATING. And when you actually take a moment to truly see them, to ask them something about themselves, to listen to their story, you will make their day and yours. 

I guarantee you – far more powerful than any deal you will ever steal online or in store, is the ability to truly connect with the people in your life. Friends, family, and strangers alike. 

And isn’t that what this time of year is all about?!?

I hope you take on one of these ideas above… and I look forward to hearing from you in the comments below!


Carol Schulte

Carol is a published author, has been featured in numerous magazines and podcasts, and is a returning guest expert on Rogers TV. Having lived and worked in 16 countries including Ashrams in India and vans in New Zealand, rocked dreadlocks in Thailand and shaved her head for breast cancer, she certainly walks her talk and brings a global perspective to all she does. When she’s not traveling or speaking on stage, you can find her volunteering as a bereavement facilitator, training for her next triathlon, or practicing her serious carpool karaoke game.

Reader Interactions


  1. Gabrielle Gidley says

    Those three things to do is a great idea….I do the last one on a weekly base but the other 2 I am going to work on…a list is a good idea and try to figure out what they would like for Christmas…I try to buy local…even right in the mini mall I work in. I have also committed to buy a gift second hand….so its going to be a fun December…have a great Christmas….enjoy life to the fullest… Gabrielle

    • Carol Schulte says

      Gabrielle, thank you for sharing! I love the idea of buying local ~ and buying some gifts second hand! May take that on also :-). Love your attitude of making it fun… that’s what it’s all about.

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