Carol Schulte

Get your Brave on!

leadership

Life will never be the same: An insider view at Unleashing the Power Within

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Picture this. Over 9,000 people jumping and dancing and waving our arms in the air, while singing and screaming ‘Life will never be the same…’ at like, a level 50 on a scale of 10.

You forget you’re in an unbearably cold arena (it’s kept at a near freezing temperature on purpose… they even give out gloves as a bit of a joke in our welcome bag!) and the lights and lasers start flashing like you’re at a Lady Gaga concert. Except it’s Tony Robbins up there on stage, banging up a storm on his drum sticks to the beat like his life depended on it. His energy was palpable. 

‘MAKE YOUR MOVE!’ he’d scream, and the entire arena in unison would strike a power move. 

‘Say yes!’ ‘YES!’ We’d yell in reply while making a fist punch in the air. 

You really couldn’t help but get into it. 

Now I know people have mixed emotions when it comes to this giant (literally) of a man, but there is no denying he BRINGS it. And he truly is brilliant at what he does. 

Beyond the ridiculous amounts of jumping and dancing, the firewalk (yes, we walked on fire!), the surprise concert on the last night with Jennifer Hudson, there was also tons of valuable content and takeaways. 

We learned about the six human needs that drive all behavior. 

We explored the three ways we can immediately (and powerfully) change our state. 

And we went through a powerful transformational exercise that left the majority of us in tears, and our limiting beliefs behind us. 

Here were my biggest takeaways:

Throw on your dancing shoes!

I’ve taken on a new ritual of morning dance parties. 

And they actually are quite powerful!

First of all, you can’t help but get excited and bust out a smile when you’re shaking those hips. Even if it’s a small shimmy in your seat, you end up changing what he refers to as your ‘state.’ 

If you want to change your mood, your state, there are 1 of 3 ways you can do it. (Do all three and you’re golden.)

1   Change your physiology (strike a pose or move your body)

2   Change your focus (shift the thoughts in your mind)

3   Change your language (replace the words you’re using to talk        to yourself)

The quickest of the three is to change your physical state. Hence, the dance parties! You can also strike a power pose, run on the spot, or even shift your posture to a more open stance. 

Try it now and see what it does!

There’s a reason why he had us on our feet so often during the sometimes 14 hour long days! Somehow with the music going, your legs jumping and your arms waving, you can’t help but find the energy within.  

Stop thinking your fears make you special. 

Ever had a thought around the idea of ‘not being enough?’

Me too. 

Well, it turns out you and I are not unique or special at all!

There are two primary fears that ALL human beings share, even though there are numerous variations. 

I am not enough

I won’t be loved 

Once we realise fear has been hard wired in all human beings, we can surrender to the fact it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. So, we need to learn how to dance with our fear. How to take it along for the ride. How to take massive action towards what we truly want to create in spite of this fear.

Fulfilment comes through progress.

There are two skills we need to master if we want to live an extraordinary life:

1   The Science of Achievement

2   The Art of Fulfilment 

With hard work and drive and dedication we can figure out the science of achievement. However mastering the art of fulfilment is a different ballgame.

No doubt you’ve had the experience where you finally reach your goal, you finally get the job, the raise, or the house. Or you run across the finish line of a race. And that feeling of elation and accomplishment lasts for how long? A few minutes? Longer if you’re lucky, but if it was just the goal you were after, chances are you’ll be off chasing the next one before you know it. 

The only way to experience happiness, to experience true fulfilment, is to experience progress. To stretch. To grow. To get out of your comfort zone and make moves towards your dreams each and every day. 

So start dancing. Stop letting your fears grab hold of you. And keep making progress towards your dreams.

The two most powerful exercises for me included envisioning what our life would look like 5, 10, and then 20 years from now if we held onto our limiting beliefs. It did not look pretty! And on the last day, we envisioned what our life would look like if we DID go after what we really wanted. Far more enticing!

Now I may have drunk the kool-aid, I may still be on a high, but I’m choosing to take on the idea that life will never be the same. Why not? It’s a choice we can all make today. What do we have to lose? 

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. 

Make it count!

Why it’s time to be ALL IN.

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As you read this blog post, I’m currently ‘Unleashing The Power Within!’ with Tony Robbins in Chicago!

That’s right, I’ll be in the middle of what they say is an incredibly intense 4-day program, and no doubt fully immersed in the action, dancing up a storm, and trying to soak it all in. 

Now I’m definitely excited and open, and yet I also want to ensure I go into this experience without too many expectations. And at the same time, I want to ensure I’m fully present, and go ALL IN for whatever is supposed to unfold.

I remember listening to a motivational speaker years ago share wisdom he received from an old pop can: ‘No deposit, no return.’ And it’s true. What you put into something, is what you’ll get out of something.

Unfortunately, however, being the humans that we are, it’s not always easy to detach from expectations. And with the busy-ness of life, it’s also challenging to be ALL IN on whatever we’re doing, and whoever we’re with, considering the crazy number of distractions competing for our time and attention.

Yet when we do, we experience greater fulfillment, greater success, and greater JOY!

When you drop expectation, and you commit to being ALL IN, anything is possible. 

Here are three areas of your life where you can be all in, and the difference that it will make.

1. Be all when when it comes to the task at hand. 

In the book ‘Deep Work’ by Cal Newport, he talks about the power of focusing on going deep in one area of work, on one important task, and being ruthlessly disciplined in eliminating distractions. When you go deep, you move forward.

In this age of distraction we live in, it’s growing increasingly difficult to retain our focus on one thing – and as a result we spend a lot of our time doing ‘surface level’ work. And jumping from one menial task to another. 

When you’re able to be ALL IN on the work you’re doing, and with each and every specific task, you will no doubt produce some pretty powerful work. Not to mention get a lot more satisfaction while you’re at it.

2. Be all in when it comes to the person you’re with.

I hope you’ve experienced what it’s like to speak with someone who makes you feel as though you are the most important person in the room. It’s pretty darn powerful. And YOU have the opportunity to be that for someone else, too.

When you are fully engaged with the person you’re speaking to, giving them your full attention, and treating them as though they are the only thing that matters in that moment, you make them feel important. And people always remember how you make them feel.

Not only will you get noticed and stand out, your connection, trust, and overall relationships will deepen and become even more meaningful.

3. Be all in when it comes to the present moment. 

I know, I’ve spoken about this before ~ as have so many. The power of now. It’s not always easy, but there is a reason why yoga and mediation and any kind of mindfulness is all the rage right now.

The majority of people spend time feeling guilty about the past – which is over – or anxious about the future – which has not yet arrived. 

However the true power of experiencing life can only come from living in this present moment. And that is the only place where real joy can truly exist. 

Can you imagine what your life would look when you choose to be ALL IN when it comes to your work, your conversations and relationships, and this present moment?

I’m guessing even more powerful, fulfilling, and joyful than it is right now.

That is living BIG, and that is what you deserve.

Have a FAB week!

P.S. If you’re ready BE ALL IN when it comes to your work, your relationships, or another area of your life, let’s TALK! 

Here to make an impact? Get over yourself already.

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Confession time. 

Over the weekend I almost, kinda, had a ‘woe is me’ moment. 

It was the long weekend, and everyone and their dog seemed to be escaping the city for a fun getaway or good times up at the cottage. 

And I was ‘stuck’ at home. 

Boo hoo. 

(enter the almost, kinda, ‘woe is me’ moment!)

As it turns out, I ended up having a pretty amazing weekend.

A few of us went over to Toronto Island and went stand up paddleboarding followed by a lovely picnic. And the next day we had a great day with some pool party action followed by a delicious BBQ with family and friends. 

If only I realised in the moment just how much fun I was having.

If only I didn’t get caught in the comparison trap. 

If only I wasn’t making it all about me. 

You see the problem is, we can get a little too self-consuming.

We’re worried about not doing enough, not making enough, not having enough, not contributing enough, not being good enough…

We want to make a difference, and an impact, and yet we’re too caught up in our own ‘stuff.’

And the irony is, even though we want to make it about others, we’re making it more about us!

If we truly are going to make the difference we are here to make, we need to get over ourselves already!

So, how are we going to solve it? 

Start recognising it’s less about us, and more about the people we want to impact. 

You can’t make it about YOU if you’re here to make a difference. 

And you’ll start moving forward when you choose to be ready to make that difference. 

And I’m pretty sure that’s what you’re here to do. 

So here are three ways to get you started.

1. Identify what impact you want to make. 

It may sound trite, but it’s a terrifying world out there. Now I gave up reading the news regularly a while ago, but you don’t have to look very far or wide to acknowledge all of the injustices, atrocities, tragedies, sickness, and sadness that is all around us. 

It may be overwhelming to know what to do, and where to start. 

Start by recognising the gifts you have to bring, and who – what group of people – is going to benefit the most. 

Are you a horse whisperer? Are you amazing with children? Do you have a knack for solving complicated logistical challenges?

Whether it’s working with the UN, serving food to the homeless, or cleaning up the streets, choose what cause, or what population, you want to impact. What do you care about? What are you passionate about? Start there. 

2. Make your impact more important than your insecurities

It’s scary to put ourselves out there in an bigger way. To put a stake in the ground. To declare what it is you want to do here with the time we have on this planet.

I’ll be the first to admit I get stuck in feeling not ready, not good enough,  not you-fill-in-the-blank here on a regular basis. And, I’m a work in progress! I have to constantly remind myself I have to get over myself if I’m really here to make an impact. 

3. Start Small 

It’s a little too daunting to think we can eradicate poverty or cancer or war overnight. 

And, it’s too foolish to think we can’t make a dent in anything at all. We can. You can. 

So choose the cause/population/person you want to make an impact on, and identify ONE SMALL THING you could do, starting today. 

Maybe it’s picking up garbage while you run. Or giving subway fare to the next homeless person you see, so they can get to a shelter. Perhaps it’s making time to listen to a friend in need. 

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has. ~  Margaret Mead

I’m human. You’re human. We’re human. 

We’re going to have fears, doubts, insecurities. 

And so I’m inviting you to be brave.

Brave enough to admit you are here to make an impact. Brave enough to choose the impact over your insecurities. And brave enough to take the first small, imperfect, step today. 

[ctt title=”Choose to be brave. Choose your impact over your insecurities. Choose to start small today.” tweet=”Choose to be brave. Choose your impact over your insecurities. Choose to start small today. #livingbig #impact https://bit.ly/2KScB4G” coverup=”29yq7″]

And then I want to hear what you’re committing to in the comments below.

Have a FAB week!

Don’t Let These Bravery Killers Get You!

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They (whoever ‘they’ are!) say confidence is one of the most attractive things you can wear. And it’s true. 

Some people just seem to have ‘it’ naturally. 

The X factor, the gravitas, the ‘je ne sais quoi’ that makes them stand out in any room. The thing that makes them unafraid to take risks and make things happen. 

It’s not competence, folks. It’s confidence. 

AND, even more than that, it’s about being BRAVE. And it’s available to all of us.

In preparation for my upcoming talk at SHRM next week (I’m delivering a mega session to 2000 people… EEK!) I’ve been doing more research recently about confidence and bravery ~ what it is, what it isn’t, what kills it, and what builds it. 

I came across an amazing book, The Confidence Code, written by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, who share some incredible insights. 

It turns out both nature AND nurture affect our confidence. 

Some fascinating research exists on the fact women and men’s brains are actually wired differently, we produce different hormones, and we each have an individual genetic make-up – and all of these play a role in terms of how confident we are naturally.

And, there are also thoughts and behaviours that are learned through our experiences, upbringing, and society. (Did you know that in a Harvard study looking at gender effects on performance, girls who had to write out their gender on a math test before completing it, performed more poorly than those who did not have to write it out?!? Crazy!)

There are also ‘bravery killers.’ And that’s where I want to dive into today. Because, as it turns out, I’m noticing some of my own bravery killers that I admittedly employ on perhaps too regular of a basis.

Perfectionism 


A study showed that women want to have approximately 85-95% of the qualifications on a job requirement before submitting an application. Versus men, who apply when they identify as having 15-25%!

We wait until there is very little likelihood of failure before taking action. 

We also tend to over-prepare, if anything… in wanting to ensure we get things right, we look good, and we avoid looking bad. 

We want to be perfect, appear perfect, and perform perfectly, all too often. And because it’s an ideal that doesn’t exist, we often feel bad about ourselves when we fall short.

Or, we live in perfectionist paralysis, and don’t put ourselves out there at all.

People-Pleasing

Ah-yes, people-pleasing. 

Yup, I still do that, too. 

Now in my defence, women have a more active hippocampus in our brains than men do, and so are more wired for connection and empathy. While this can be looked at as a good thing, we also have to be careful.  It’s a proven fact women are more interested in being liked than being respected, and as a result we often care too much about what people think.

At times our behaviours are more motivated by not wanting to ruffle any feathers, or by wanting to be liked, instead of doing what is right for us. 

Procrastination and/or P-a-u-s-i-n-g (and over-analysing!)  

Sometimes tied to perfectionism, the idea here is we tend to spend FAR too much time thinking and analysing. Waiting to feel ready or good enough or for the perfect moment to arrive before taking that first or next step. 

We hesitate. We pause. We ruminate. We procrastinate. 

And when we get too caught up in our heads, we tend to imagine worse-case scenarios, listen to the negative voices in our heads that tell us we can’t, we’re crazy, or our idea will never work. 

And as a result, we often don’t take any action at all. 

Okay, so how do we move past these bravery killers?

Awareness, Insight, Action. 

First, you need to identify what killer is coming up for you in the moment.

Gain awareness, and get real. Are you taking on a behaviour or an action because it feels right to YOU? Or because you are trying to get someone to like you? 

Are you finding an excuse as to why you’re not taking on a behaviour or an action because you’re stuck in your head? Are you listening to those negative voices? Are you wanting to be PERFECT before you even begin?

Notice what is happening. And examine why it may be happening for you. Look inside yourself. Insight brings clarity. 

And finally, it’s time to take ACTION! 

The only way to build bravery is through action. PERIOD. 

You’re not going to think your way into feeling more confident. Instead, you have to choose to get into actin before you feel ready. That’s what it means to be brave.

Action builds your bravery muscle, even if the action isn’t related to the area you may be lacking it.

And action is contagious. That first, small brave move is all you need to take!

If you were even braver than you are right now, if you were even more confident than you are right now, what one small action would you take? 

And WHEN are you going to take it?!?

Today seems like a pretty good day to me! Go ahead, I DARE you!

You don’t need to learn any more, get any more qualifications, do any more prep work.

I truly believe each and every one of us is here for a greater purpose. And when we are holding back or letting our confidence killers get the better of us, we’re not showing up in the biggest version of ourselves. And we’re not going to make the biggest impact we can make. 

[ctt title=”If you want to make something happen, it’s not about competence. It’s all about confidence.” tweet=”If you want to make something happen, it’s not about competence. It’s all about being brave. #livingbig #confidence https://bit.ly/2l9KqCV” coverup=”2fbsm”]

Which bravery killer holds YOU back the most? And what is that one small action you are going to take (maybe even today?!?) to move you forward?

I want to hear from you in the comments below. 

Have a FAB day!

The tale of the wallet with the silver lining.

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…Because there is always a silver lining. 

The night before last, in a sheer moment of panic, I realised my wallet was gone.

It had been taken from my bag while crossing a busy street in Toronto.

Seriously?!? Again?!?  (After all, I had my entire backpack taken not too long ago while on an overnight train in Croatia…)

Well, I went through the whole gamut of emotions… denial, anger, utter frustration, sadness, guilt… not to mention violation. And I played the ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ games WAY too many times. Hindsight will always be 20/20.

There were a lot of tears shed, let me tell you!

However after cancelling all of my cards, spending way too much of the day yesterday going to get a new driver’s license, health card, replacing my bank cards and trying to block all of my gift cards… I knew I had to get out of the ‘woe is me’ place.

We all go through shitty situations. And many are out of our control. But we can control how we react to them. And it’s an opportunity for us to step up, show up, and shift our perspective. 

It may not have been a very productive ‘work day,’  but it was a very productive ‘fill my soul’ day. 

I had some very heart-warming conversations with my special girlfriends and family members. I treated myself to getting my nails done. I sung Happy Birthday to a good friend whose birthday it was. I enjoyed a special moment with my stepmum, who unfortunately doesn’t have much time left. I went for a great run, which always brings clarity and inspiration and makes me feel better. I wrote a card and dropped off a plant for an old friend who is going through a very tough time. I watched my cousin’s son debut as a flying bat in his school production of Wizard of Oz. She and I shared a delicious Indian dinner afterwards. And then I went back to the police station I was at the night before, where I filed the report, to drop off some flowers for my new Aunt Jo (the lovely constable who totally calmed me down and had been so incredibly kind with me the night before…) She was clearly very moved. 

As I was driving home, I realised it was going to be okay (obviously!).  I was going to be okay. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s a wallet. Most of the cards can be replaced, it’s only money, and it could have been a lot worse. 

In my reflecting, I realised it’s important to do few things when a shitty thing happens.

Feel Big

Bad things are going to happen. It’s okay to be upset, to feel whatever it is you may be feeling. In fact, I would argue you gotta go through all of the emotions. You can’t skip steps. So don’t be afraid to feel what you’re feeling, before you are ready to shift your thinking. But don’t wallow too long. It’s also important to eventually come to a place of acceptance and be ready to move on. 

Connect Big 

I count my lucky stars every day to have the people in my life that I do. When you’re having a tough day, or facing a difficult situation, reach out to others. Seek support. You don’t have to face it alone. And, speaking to others will not only help shift your perspective – because we’re ALL going through something – it may also allow you to make new friends, or connect on a deeper level. Take it away from you for a moment, and be there for someone else who may need you. 

Appreciate Big

Appreciate all you have. Take it one step further than feeling gratitude, and get specific about what you appreciate. Reach out to people to let them know you appreciate them and why. Shift your perspective and think about how much worse it could be. Appreciate and be open to the learnings about what really matters.

 

So next time you find yourself in an unfortunate, unexpected, or uncontrollable situation, remember to feel big, connect big, and appreciate big. 

[ctt title=”Feel all the feelings. Connect with your peeps. Appreciate what you’ve got. And when you do, you’ll see the silver lining.” tweet=”Feel all the feelings. Connect with your peeps. Appreciate what you’ve got. And when you do, you’ll see the silver lining. #livingbig https://bit.ly/2JodbKy” coverup=”D09Rq”]

…Because there is always a silver lining.

And now I want to hear from YOU! What are you going to take on?

Have a FAB week!

Are You Living In Your Experience Zone?

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I always love the beginning of a new month, as it’s an opportunity to start fresh, to set new goals, to give yourself a clean slate. 

Although as of late, I’m beginning to think it doesn’t always have to be about achieving the actual goal, the end game, the outcome. 

I’m starting to realise it really is about the process, the journey, the experience. 

As I’m typing to you, I’m watching the world pass me by, en route by train (I love train travel!) to Montreal, to do a full-day intensive with my speaking coach. 

We’re refining my keynote about what it means to live big, and one of the ideas we’re playing with is the fact it’s not just about getting out of your comfort zone, it’s about getting into your experience zone. 

There’s a reason why experiential learning and experiential leadership development has grown significantly in the past decade.

There’s a reason why experiential gifts are the new big thing. 

And there’s a reason why certain moments, events, and experiences in our life create the lasting impression they do. 

The majority of people spend their lives wanting MORE – wanting to do more, make more, achieve more. And as a result, we often get too caught up in the outcome, what we’re chasing. And in so doing we miss the point entirely!

The solution?

Get into your experience zone!  

What do I mean by that, you may be wondering?

You see, I’m working on a new model and framework. It’s a work in progress, however as it stands, here are the elements that make up your experience zone:

ACTION: We can’t think our way into doing. We spend way too much time thinking, waiting, analysing… we have to actually take ACTION!

EMOTION: Not only does it require certain emotions to get into the zone (fear and courage being two!) an emotional connection also needs to be made. 

NOVELTY: Part of what makes an experience memorable is that it’s new, we are  living it for the first time. And there may likely be an element of surprise and delight. 

PRESENCE: The experience has to happen in real-time, and if you are not fully present for the experience, it won’t be nearly as powerful. 

INSIGHT: As a result of whatever it is you are doing, there has to be some learning, some new stroke of insight. Maybe you learned something new about yourself, about what was possible, or about what matters in the world.  

When you’re in your experience zone…

  • The goal IS the experience!
  • There is no right or wrong, no possibility for failure, no mistakes to be made. 
  • You are already winning… because you are stretching yourself beyond what you thought possible. 

We spend so much of our time thinking our way into action, into belief, into confidence. When in fact, the only way we grow is in the DOING.

Courage is contagious. And when we spend more time in our experience zone building our courage muscle, we’re also building momentum, belief, and confidence. And then what becomes possible in all areas of our lives, well, just wait and see!

And the good news, experiences don’t just refer to activities like bungee jumping, axe throwing, or skydiving. 

They can also include introducing yourself to a stranger, getting up 30 minutes earlier than normal, or finding a new way to work. Or maybe it’s time to cheat on your job,  and sign up to learn a new sport or activity you’ve always wanted to learn!

So, what will you do to get into your experience zone today?

I want to hear from you in the comments below.

Have a FAB week!

P.S. If you’re ready to get into your experience zone, but not sure where to start, let’s book a call! I have a powerful Living BIG Experience day where we will ENSURE you get into your experience zone, and break through whatever may be holding you back! 

 

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