To trust, or not to trust… that is the question. 🤔

I kinda feel there are two ways you can go out into the world:

You choose to trust everyone. 

You choose to trust no one.

 

Now, I’m not about to proclaim one is better than the other. 

 

When you choose to trust no one – at least not right out of the gates – folks have to earn your trust. 

But when you choose to trust everyone, you have to accept the fact you’re going to get burned… at least at some point, anyway. 

And boy, have I been burned on more than a few occasions! 🤦‍♀️

 

Two weeks ago, however, was a bit of a doozy. 

 

I was selling my old iphone… only a few years old, and still in mint condition. (After being happily lured in by an independent mobile phone provider, for an amazing and much cheaper deal!) 

Having been offered an extra $100 from this prospective buyer if I would deliver it to him, I agreed. (first red flag!) 

He suggested to meet at a strip mall, next to the Fortino’s (a local grocery chain) outside of a service centre, which was closed. And it was early evening, and already close to dark. (second red flag!) 

He said to ignore his mask (a disposable ‘Covid’ one) as he had a cold. (Another red flag?) When he asked to see the phone, of course I gave it to him, and watched as he took it out of the box, turned it on, and seemed to be taking his time ensuring the account and all of the data had been erased…

And then, in a blink of an eye, I heard someone yell something behind me, I turned my head but a few degrees, and ZOOM! Off he sprinted, right across the parking lot and right out of sight.

‘HEEEYYY!!!!’ I yelled, as I literally jumped into my car, and tried to chase after him.

Alas, he was long gone into the night and into the abyss. 🌙

 

A gentleman in the parking lot had seen what had happened – and came up to me asking if I was okay. My heart was pounding and I was still in total shock at what had happened… or rather, what I had just let happen. 

He said two things to me:

‘You had that coming.’ 

(Yeah, thanks.)

Followed by: 

‘Never chase after a bad guy.’ 

 

While the first statement was a tad harsh… he’s probably right. And the policeman with whom I filed a report afterwards, agreed with him on the no chasing part! 

Yes, after sharing all of these details with you, I’m well aware of how naive I must sound!

However the fact is, as much as I see those red flags clear as day now, I just didn’t believe someone could do something like that, let alone right under my nose. 

 

I’ve called myself numerous mean names since, relived that exact moment an embarrassingly, ridiculous number of times, and played the ‘what if’ game until I’ve gone blue in the face. (All of which are super helpful! 🤣)

Yes, I’ve learned my lesson. And no, I will never attempt to sell a cell phone in a strip mall parking lot (nor any other item, for that matter!) 

 

But here’s the thing. I’m probably going to get burned again. 

Because I would rather go out into the world, choosing to trust everyone, as opposed to choosing to trust no one. Because I’d rather get burned sometimes (hopefully less often!) and expect the best from everyone, then have my guard up and expect the worst.

 

SO, to trust, or not to trust. That is the question…. 

What do YOU think? I’d love to hear from you! Share your comments below.

 

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Carol Schulte

Carol is a published author, has been featured in numerous magazines and podcasts, and is a returning guest expert on Rogers TV. Having lived and worked in 16 countries including Ashrams in India and vans in New Zealand, rocked dreadlocks in Thailand and shaved her head for breast cancer, she certainly walks her talk and brings a global perspective to all she does. When she’s not traveling or speaking on stage, you can find her volunteering as a bereavement facilitator, training for her next triathlon, or practicing her serious carpool karaoke game.

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Comments

  1. Jenni Denegri says

    Oh, Carol ~ What a yucky experience, for lack of a better word! Perhaps this experience was more about highlighting a focus on the trust you have with *yourself*… We’ll never be able to control or predict or have expectations of others. But we can tune in more to who *we* are, and I have an inkling that the more you choose to trust *you* the more those ‘red flags’ will be evident to you in the moment v. in hindsight. In the end, it really is a journey of our relationship with ourselves that we shine back into the world.
    Keep shining ~ you are amongst the brightest lights!
    xoxo,

    • Carol Schulte says

      Thank you, Jenni, for taking the time to share your thoughtful comments. And you may have a valid point there – trust starting with the self is most important. Working on the relationship with ourselves is an ongoing, and fascinating, journey.

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