My week in pics: Visiting a coffee farm, going horseback riding (with my new bestie Higa!) jumping in a waterfall during a rainstorm, doing a barrio tour, embarrassing myself during rumba and hip hop classes, indulging in a 13-course tasting menu (at one point we had to wash our hands in one chocolate!) enjoying a full day hike in a beautiful national park in the rain…
And happy St. Patty’s Day! I have my green shamrock earrings on (yes, made sure I packed them when I left back in January… good thing I have my priorities straight!) and hope you’re sporting some green, too.
I had an epiphany this week. Contrary to what may make sense intellectually, maybe I’ll actually accomplish more by accomplishing less.
What do I mean?
It seems I’m trying to force being all one way all of the time, when it’s just not possible.
You want to be more productive? When was the last time you allowed yourself to be lazy?
You want to be happier? When was the last time you embraced your sadness?
You want to feel more connection? When was the last time you enjoyed time on your own?
Here’s the idea.
You can never be all of only one side of the spectrum, and none of the other. It just doesn’t work. And as long as we try, we’ll never win.
We’re never all one way with anything in life. We can’t ever just be one spoke of the wheel. We’re the whole wheel.
When I was completing my masters thesis, I used a theory called relational dialectics when examining end-of-life conversations.
Now stick with me here, I promise I’m not going to get all morbid on you, nor too academic.
However the theory speaks to the fact in every interaction, and in every dialogue, there are tensions at play. The three main ones are:
We want to be connected to another individual, however at the same time be able to hang onto a sense of our own autonomy.
In our desire to build connection, we want to self-disclose certain information about ourselves. And, we also want to be sure to keep other things private.
In our relationships we crave some newness to keep things exciting, however we also want to ensure we have certain rituals that make us feel comfortable and that we’re used to.
One of my ongoing struggles while being on this crazy Remote Year journey thus far, is trying to strike a balance between working and experiencing. And I’m not sure I’ve quite struck gold yet on that front.
And maybe it’s unrealistic to think I ever will.
First of all, I’m not sure balance even exists. And it’s not about being all in on one side without also embracing the opposite side, with respect to anything.
It’s about integration.
You’ll be more productive when you realize it’s okay to feel less than, or dare I say ‘lazy’ on occasion.
You’ll be happier when you realize it’s also okay to have off days.
And I bet you’ll experience increased connection when you realize you’re also perfectly fine on your own.
We don’t live in a black and white world. It doesn’t always have to be all or nothing. And although I’ve often said ‘go big or go home,’ perhaps that’s not necessarily the case.
So welcome both sides of the spectrum this week. Embrace it all. And perhaps in being okay with doing less, you’ll realize you’re actually doing more.
Have a FAB week!
What are your thoughts on striving for integration instead of balance? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!