What sucking at sexy dancing can teach you.

SO, it turns out I'm more of a not-so-sexy sexy dancer...


Oh man was I uncomfortable!

I mean, that was part of the reason I signed up in the first place, but I kind of forgot just how uncomfortable it feels to feel uncomfortable. 

It was week two in my new Army of Sass dance group (Remember when I shared I was going to sign up for a new dance class, that had a recital after 10 weeks?!? Yeah, that one. I’m not sure what I was thinking!) 

So our fireball of an instructor yells out ‘Groups! 

And all of sudden it’s time to showcase not only the new section of choreography we’ve just learned, but the whole number from the top, with music.

She proceeds to count and point ‘1,2,3, 1,2,3…’ while going around the room. I tried as best as possible to avoid eye contact and literally hide in the corner. (Not sure how I thought she would miss me, but I was really hoping she would!)

Turns out she found me… and pointed at me as she said ‘1!’

Just my luck.

I didn’t want to do it at all, and now I’m expected to be in group one?!?

I did not have the steps down.

I was not feeling confident!

And I was certainly not ready to be watched and scrutinised by others… who all seemed to be okay, if not excited for this craziness!

So when she called group one and the ladies began to take their places on the studio floor, I didn’t move. I simply pretended it wasn’t my group.

You’re so smart Carol! You totally dodged a bullet there. Well done. After all, no one would know what group I was in, and I could simply keep sitting in the audience inconspicuously.

Group one went. 

There was clapping and cheering. 

I felt a bit guilty, but better than being uncomfortable!

Then group two was called.

I stayed put. 

They, too, seemed to know what they were doing. 

More clapping and cheering. 

Group three was called. 

I stayed put. 

Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t like not being good at something, let alone pretty bad! I don’t love feeling totally uncomfortable, or embarrassed. And this is exactly what I was feeling. So of course I didn’t want to move! Makes sense, right?!?

And then all of a sudden I heard this voice of reason inside of me begin speaking…

Carol, how can you expect to empower others to be braver when you’re not even doing it yourself?

So I got up, found a spot on the floor, and committed to trying my best. 

And I did. 

Did I remember all of the steps? Not even close. 

Did I add in some extra sassy, sexy personality? I wish!

It was no doubt evident all over my face I was concentrating extremely intently, desperately trying to remember what I could of this choreo. And the ability to also make it look sexy and cool and effortless? Yeah, I wasn’t quite there yet.

But what I did do, was my best. 

I showed up. 

And sometimes, that is more than enough. 

And you know what? 

I made it through and I didn’t die! (I may have wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear forever, mind you!) 

And I’m proud I did. 

After all, It’s not about getting the steps right, it’s about showing up on the studio floor in the first place. Just like it’s never about whether you get the raise or promotion or not, it’s about you using your voice to ask for what you want at all.

It’s okay to not be great at something. In fact, that is the only way you are going to learn and grow! And as Carol Dweck says, we all need to adopt the Growth Mindset if we want to achieve new heights and reach our big goals.

It’s uncomfortable to be uncomfortable.

I get it. 

But life isn’t always about being comfortable. Nor is it about being good at everything you do (especially when it’s the first time you’re doing it!) 

Sometimes it’s about trying new things, stretching yourself, and pushing yourself beyond what you thought possible.

Life is about growth. 

And comfort and growth cannot co-exist. 

When was the last time you did something a little out of your comfort zone, stretched yourself a little bit? When was the last time you got a little bit uncomfortable?

This week I challenge you to do just that. 

Here are some ideas:

  • Sign up for a drop-in class or an event of sorts you’ve never done before ~ be it zumba, painting, or pole. 
  • Say yes to taking on a project or an initiative that you want to say no to, for fear of not knowing what you’re doing 
  • Schedule some time in your calendar to face that thing you’ve been avoiding for far too long now
  • Do a brain dump of activities and/or situations that kinda scare you… and then choose one to take on 

I dare you to get your brave on and do something uncomfy this week! And then I want to hear all about in the comments below.

Now I may never be the world’s greatest sexy dancer in heels.

But if I show up at that recital in 8 weeks and I do the dance – even if I don’t get all of the steps right – I’m still growing, and I’m still winning. 


Have a FAB week!

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Carol Schulte

Carol is a published author, has been featured in numerous magazines and podcasts, and is a returning guest expert on Rogers TV. Having lived and worked in 16 countries including Ashrams in India and vans in New Zealand, rocked dreadlocks in Thailand and shaved her head for breast cancer, she certainly walks her talk and brings a global perspective to all she does. When she’s not traveling or speaking on stage, you can find her volunteering as a bereavement facilitator, training for her next triathlon, or practicing her serious carpool karaoke game.

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