The gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it.
I have a question for you.
And you might not like it!
What is something you KNOW you need to do… that you’re not doing?
Maybe it’s a conversation you need to have. A boundary you need to set. The workout you keep saying you’re going to start. The idea you want to bring to life. The application you need to submit. The email you need to send…
You know the thing.
And yet, instead of actually doing it, what do we often do?
We listen to one more podcast.
Read one more book.
Take one more course.
Ask one more friend.
Write one more list.
Research one more option…
Because surely we just need a little more information before we’re ready to begin, right?!
Or do we?
I’d argue that most of the time, you already know way more than you need to know to take the next step.
And I think you know that, too.
So perhaps it’s not an information problem.
Perhaps it’s a knowing-versus-doing gap problem!
Turns out, researchers actually have a name for this: the intention–behaviour gap — the space between what we intend to do and what we actually do.
One large review looking specifically at physical activity found that almost half of those who intended to exercise didn’t follow through.
So apparently, we’re in good company!
And lest you think I’m writing this from some highly evolved place where I immediately act on everything I know I need to do…
Let me introduce you to The Brave Collective.
An online community for women that I’d been talking about, thinking about, researching, and imagining for a LONG time.
I researched the platforms. I took a course. I thought about the format. I played with the ideas. I talked to people. I made plans.
In other words, I did a whole lot of knowing… and not nearly as much doing!
There came a point where I didn’t need another piece of information. I didn’t need to research another platform or figure out one more detail.
I just needed to start already!
And eventually, I did.
I’m happy to say The Brave Collective is now officially out in the world — and perhaps there’s some irony in the fact that a community built around choosing brave and taking action required me to do exactly that to bring it to life. 😂
More on that below.
But for now, back to you!
Because if there’s something you know you need – or want – to do and you’re still not doing it, perhaps the question isn’t: What else do I need to know?
Perhaps the better question is: What’s really stopping me?
And this is where I want you to get curious instead of judgmental.
Because resistance is usually coming from somewhere.
Maybe it’s fear.
Maybe it’s perfectionism.
Maybe it’s people-pleasing.
Maybe you’re worried about what other people will think.
Maybe you’re waiting until you feel more confident.
Or maybe the thing matters so much to you that taking the first step suddenly feels a whole lot scarier than simply continuing to think about it.
Hello, Bravery Barriers!
Whatever it is, beating yourself up for not doing the thing probably isn’t going to help you do the thing.
So get curious instead.
What’s actually going on beneath the surface? What are you waiting to know, have, or feel before you’re willing to begin?
And here’s a biggie… do you actually need it?
Because maybe you don’t need to figure out the entire plan, know exactly how it’s all going to turn out, or feel more confident than you do right now.
You just need to take one small step.
That’s it.
Because action creates progress. Progress creates momentum. And momentum gives you something all the podcasts, books, courses, lists, and well-meaning advice in the world can’t give you:
Evidence that you can do the thing!
Research backs this up, too: we’re more likely to follow through when we get specific about when, where, and how we’ll take action.
There’s a difference between: I really need to start writing.
and:
Tomorrow at 9:00, I’m opening the document and writing for 20 minutes.
You don’t need to complete the whole thing.
You just need to make it easier to begin.
And once you begin?
That’s where you start building your brave muscle!
Not because you suddenly know everything, or the fear magically disappears, or because you’ve finally reached some mythical state of readiness.
But because you acted anyway.
👊 This Week’s Brave Action Challenge
You probably already know what I’m going to ask you.
Go back to the question we started with:
What’s something you KNOW you need to do… that you’re not doing?
Get curious about what’s actually been getting in the way. Then choose ONE small, specific action you can take.
Don’t make another list. Don’t research it. Don’t ask three friends what they think.
Just take the first step. And if you’re daring enough, do it TODAY!
Send the email. Open the document. Make the call. Lace up your running shoes. Have the conversation. Submit the application.
Because perhaps you don’t need to know more.
Perhaps it’s time to do something with what you already know.
You have way more than enough in that noggin of yours!
You know that you do. And I know that you do, too.
So go and get your brave on already!
Cheering you on,
Carol 🩷
P.S. Speaking of finally taking action… The Brave Collective is officially OPEN! 🩷 We already have 15 amazing founding members inside, and we’re now opening the doors to more women who want to choose brave, take action on the things that matter, and cheer each other on.
And these are exactly the kinds of conversations we’re having inside The Collective. If it sounds like a community you’d like to be part of, come check us out!